If you find yourself in this position, you must find a way to stop blaming yourself and blaming others, You must break the inertia of inaction and become an active participant in your life. It doesn’t matter what your goals are be they large or small. You will never reach them if you don’t start moving towards them day by day.
Depending too much on other people to support you is a form of self sabotage that prevents you from taking responsibility for your life. Blaming yourself for your shortcomings is also a form of self sabotage. Self blame leads to self pity and lack of self esteem. Personal responsibility leads to change.
One who has poor self esteem and requires support from others is deficient in the qualities that promote survival including social survival. One that is frozen in a habit of blaming himself or others is living in denial.
He becomes manipulative and uses self blame and blaming others to further entrench his handicaps rather than abolishing them. He puts the blame for his behavior on himself instead of accepting responsibility for it. He therefore becomes filled with guilt, shame and doubt and has no energy left over to haul himself out of his rut.
If you find you can’t get out of a self created rut, seek the help of a mental health care professional. Often just talking to someone can help you see things more clearly. In addition to that, start moving physically. Walk, go to the gym, do whatever you can to get the energy around you and in you moving and keep it moving by staying acive.
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